Yesterday I left La Grande, my home for the past 37 and half years. I turned in my keys and hit the road with a huge sense of freedom and possibility. This morning, I went to prison and consulted the guys there who really are experts on the meaning of freedom. It was gratifying to receive their blessings for my journey and their best wishes despite their confinement.
So, I have been contemplating what this new freedom and looking for a way of describing it. According the census bureau I am now officially homeless but it doesn’t really feel respectful of the millions of people whose homelessness is not voluntary and whose experiences are painful and heart-breaking. In aikido, we call it rondori, a practice of spontaneously responding to multiple attackers. In my meditation practice, I’ve heard it referred to as groundlessness – the experience of being with the vividness of the present moment with nothing certain to hang onto. Letting go of my attachments to career and community and home and possessions is a practice in discovering my authentic self that had become buried beneath all these ways of defining myself.
One of my favorite metaphors for this journey comes from the participatory leadership practice of Open Space Technology. The four principles of Open Space are:
- Whoever comes is the right people.
- Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.
- Whenever it starts is the right time.
- When it’s over it’s over.
My journey really is one of living in open space with the intention of learning and service. It is about discovering what is possible if I can let go of my plans and expectations and embrace what life has to offer without grasping or avoiding. And so, I am reflecting on how the principles of open space can illuminate my journey.
Whoever comes is the right people is a reminder to appreciate the gifts and uniqueness of each person I meet on the way. My final weeks in La Grande have been provided repeated reminders of this. I have been surprised, humbled and very grateful for conversations I have experienced as I said my goodbyes. If I had realized sooner the potential for deep and meaningful connections, I might not have felt the need to leave to find this. Why did we have to wait until I was leaving to express our feelings for each other and to realize the potential for deeper connection? On the camino, I want to practice curiosity and openness and to learn to connect with whoever shows up in my life each day.
Whatever happens is the only thing that could have. So, I really don’t need to expend my life energy in scheming and planning and thinking that I have to have everything figured out. And there is no room for regret. This principle is a challenge for me to accept whatever comes, whatever happens, without trying to change it or make it better and without imagining another way. Just be with the gift of each moment.
Whenever it starts is the right time. This is the reminder that the journey has already begun. If I focus on the Camino de Santiago as my pilgrimage, I could miss out of the richness of the Global Learning Village and my visit with friends in Germany and my first time in Paris. But the journey doesn’t even begin when I get on the plane. The journey has begun. The past few months of packing, shedding, preparations and saying goodbyes – that, too, is the journey and it has been a rich time of learning and sharing. Nothing is gained by paying attention to the calendar and anticipating the coming journey. It has begun and it is unfolding in each precious moment and interaction.
When it’s over it’s over. Nothing lasts forever and so the challenge is not to waste time. I feel so fortunate and blessed to be able to be on this journey at this time. I have the gift of health and supportive relationships and the freedom to go where the path leads. This may not always be possible and when I look back I don’t want to regret what I was not wise enough or courageous enough to experience.
So, I am leaping into open space, with the energy of “YES”, curious and excited to discover what life has in store for me. As I walk this journey, I want to remember that I am doing this for more than just myself. Over and over, people have told me that I am doing this for them or that I am taking a part of them with me or that they want to share in the learnings. So, I go with a desire to share my experiences and my learnings. This is the calling that I hear and am responding to right now. Who knows where it will lead?
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