Letting go… I had accepted that this would be the focus in my preparations for leaving on this journey. Letting go of my career, letting go of my sense of home and security, letting go of all that stuff I had accumulated and really didn’t need. But then, I imagined that work would be done and I could be about my grand adventure.
Now I am almost two weeks into the adventures and that theme of letting go has intensified rather than going away. Life seems pretty insistent upon teaching me that an adventure cannot be planned or designed and that this journey is really all about letting go of expectations and assumptions and embracing what life has to offer at each step of the way.
Lesson 1: It was my final day in La Grande. I had spent the day in taking the last loads of stuff to donate to Habitat’s Restore. I made the final trip to the storage unit and dumped my garbage and recycling. All that was left was to load my car and to turn in the keys to my house and hit the road. The only problem with this plan was that I had locked myself out of the house. Everything that I thought I needed for my journey was safely locked away from me. After solving this mini-crisis, I hit the road and was delighted to discover the surge of joy and energy that I experienced as I entered the highway and felt the freedom and the call of the open road.
Lesson 2: The beginning of a major trip is not the time to upgrade technology. Knowing that I would want a phone that I could use internationally, I spent much of my last day in the US getting thoroughly overwhelmed by the options and trade-offs available. My intention had been to get a simple and cheap phone that would essentially maintain my status as pre-smart phone user. But, no, cheap and simple are not an option in our capitalist economy that is constantly pushing the newest and most complex technologies as the promised answer to efficiency and simplicity. So, began my trip as the new owner of a used Blackberry with so many more functions than I could understand or use and I spent my final hours in the US, trying to figure out how to activate it while dealing with the frustration of “user support” and unable to make the most simple phone call.
The technology adventures continued in Germany where I immediately bought a new chip that gave me a German phone number and supposed connectivity. However, I promptly locked my phone and couldn’t recall the correct PIN to unlock it so I carried the most sophisticated and fancy looking device that offered me nothing more than the correct time. Yesterday, the fourth cell phone company that I visited in Nuernburg showed me that I actually had the “lost” code with me the whole time. So, now I am again connected and confused with the abundance of features available to me. While I have to laugh at my desire to find the right technology that really will simplify things, I do wonder how I can better use a few of the right tools to support a nomadic lifestyle.
Lesson 3: “But it really was an inexpensive airline ticket.” My departure was scheduled for 6pm on Friday night. By midnight, the airline admitted that they had not solved the mechanical problems and that we would not be flying that night. By 3am, I was in the motel room they provided at some casino a half hour away from the airport. By 10am
Saturday, I was back at the airport, going through the entire check-in and security process a second time. By noon, the announcements began informing us that the flight would be delayed for 20 minutes and another 20 or 30 minutes. And the stress began to grow. Families looking at the prospects of canceling their vacation plans, people trying make new plans, lots of anger, frustration and blaming of the airlines. At one point, the frustration erupted into a violent outburst and from then on we were surrounded by security forces to prevent the urge to riot. In the midst of this emotional pain, I felt tremendous gratitude for my mediation practices that allowed me to maintain some sense of sanity. And I kept laughing at myself for wanting an adventure and then not welcoming the adventure of the unknown and unexpected when it arrived. I realized that this was the next level of letting go. It was the letting go of expectations and required an acceptance of what was showing up, rather or not it fit my plans.
Finally, almost 24 hours behind schedule, we took off for Frankfurt. I wonder whether I was able to maintain my sanity because I had less at stake than other people or am I actually experiencing the fruits of my mindfulness practices?
It seems that life is persistent in reminding me that this journey is really not an adventure that I can design and that the learnings I will encounter will be the ones that I decide I am ready for. The learnings and the challenges are coming at me faster than I can find time to write about them. Currently I am in Paris and enjoying good internet connection for a change but it feels like my reflections are from more than a week ago. Will I be able to find a sustainable pattern of living and reflecting and writing and posting?
To be continued…
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