WISDOM + 78 SECONDS from Nic Askew on Vimeo.
FollowWalk On Walk Off ~ Interview with Deborah Frieze
My Essential Job Description
In a time of great fear and the crashing of old ways of being, as humanity begins to wake up and to see the pain and suffering of Earth and her people, as the forces of the old ways become more and more desperate and the interactions become more and more strident and contentious and positions become more and more fixed and polarized, into this time I have been called to my essential work.
My essential work, on behalf of the emerging, is to live from my deepest being. My work is to question certainty wherever I find it in myself or in others; to question certainty with gentleness, love and compassion and with courageous ferocity. I am called to host conversations and to nurture the discovery of new ways of being and working together. My work is to hold space for healing through radical vulnerability and exposure of shadow. My work is to encourage authenticity by being authentic. My work is to travel between worlds and to carry stories of courage, compassion and suffering. My work is to continue my own healing so that I can be a companion to others on the journey. My work is to learn to love myself more deeply so I can be love for others. My work is to learn to live in gratitude for the abundance that is available. My ongoing work is learning to replace my habitual reactivity with openness and curiosity.
Reflections of Peacemaking
This past weekend I had an amazing experience at a Peacemaker Retreat with James O’Dea in Crestone Colorado. While I have known of James’ work for some time and have known that I would someday meet him and experience his work since meeting Judith Thompson last summer, I really did not know what to expect. I went with a strong sense of assurance that this is where I needed to be without knowing why and I arrived prepared to be surprised. And I was not disappointed.
A friend asked me what skills and approaches would be taught and I could not really say. What I discovered was not any new approach or skill but rather a deeper calling into a way of being. Perhaps it sounds trite or excessively soft, but what I learned (or more accurately relearned at a deeper level) is that peacemaking is about living in love, being willing to witness suffering and to create a space in which healing can emerge from the process of deep conversation. It is really just another manifestation of the Art of Hosting with a focus on woundedness.
Another profound learning (relearning) is that a healer’s power is in embracing his/her own deepest wounds. “Healer heal thyself” has always been part of my view of healing and I have probably always carried a critical assessment of my own inadequacies in this arena. After participating in a 5 hour council circle in which 40 of us explored the question of “perpetration”, I now know my own deep wounding in a new way and I also know that I am capable of courageously modeling vulnerability and exploration of my shadow. I also know that I am more ready than ever to step boldly into the work of social healing and peacemaking.
Yesterday, I looked deeply into the eyes of each of my fellow retreatants and allowed myself to experience an amazing depth of love and intimacy, of seeing and having been seen. At that moment, I realized my need for intimacy and deep soul connection. Over the course of my life, this need has led me to some hurtful, idealistic and self-gratifying actions that have hurt myself and others. But, somewhere within me there was a deep knowing that there is something sacred and healing in the process of sharing one’s soul. Yes, peacemaking, social healing, vulnerability, love – these are all various aspects of the same life-changing and world-changing experience and what I know myself to be called to.
I don’t know where and how my work as a peacemaker will evolve, but I do know that this is my work. As a part of the conclusion to the retreat, we were instructed to write our “Essential Job Description” – the work that each of us is called to at a deep level. What a gift to be challenged to this task after nearly a year of listening and discernment around the question of my life work.
Tools for Conference Calls
Arranging conference calls can be such a challenge for me – figuring out the time zone differences, agreeing upon a time and choosing the appropriate technology. So, I want to gather the tools into one toolkit here that I will hopefully remember the next time I need them.
Meeting Wizard is a free service for polling participants to determine a meeting time. Enter the participants email addresses and the system them a message with a link to the poll. Once a time has been selected, Meeting Wizard will notify the participants. It also includes an RSVP function. Doodle is similar service.
Time Zone Converter is handy for finding the time in one other location. The World Clock Meeting Planner allows up to four locations.
Free Conference Call There are numerous free conference call services. What I like about this one is that it is accessible from both Canada and the US. Some of the services are blocked by the Canadian telecom provider. This service also allows the recording of calls for free.
Skype is a semi-free service offering audio and video calls. Skype to skype calls are free and work well much of the time for groups of up to six or eight. With larger groups or with poor bandwidth, it can be very frustrating. Skype to telephone is not free but the rates are generally much lower than telephone. Skype also includes messaging and the ability to send files. The messaging function is useful for harvesting a conversation in real time. All participants need to have skype software installed and need to be connected as contacts to be able to call each other.
The Journey ~ Mary Oliver
This poem really says it all for me. It is expresses the journey beneath the journey that is itineris, that is my life. It speaks to me of the sadness and the joy, of the aloneness, of the courage involved in the journey that is this life.
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
although the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
although their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.
~Mary Oliver
Wild Geese ~ Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~ Mary Oliver
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Allow ~ Danna Faulds
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt, containing a tornado.
Dam a stream and it will create a new channel.
Resist, and the tide will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry you to higher ground.
The only safety lies in letting it all in —
the wild and weak —
fear, fantasies, failures, and success.
When loss rips off the doors of the heart
or sadness veils your vision with despair,
practice becomes simply bearing the truth.
In the choice to let go of your known way of being,
the whole world is revealed to your new eyes.
~ Danna Faulds
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The Guesthouse ~ Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture.
Still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ Rumi
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Just One Thing ~ Rick Hanson
I really appreciate Rick Hanson’s perspectives. He combines a practitioner’s experience of meditation practice with a scientist’s understanding in neuroscience and what he comes out with sounds like advise that my mother gave me when I was a kid. The best thing is that I seem to be more capable of hearing Rick than I was of hearing Mom.
So, on Mother’s Day, I want to honor the wisdom of my mom by posting a link to Just One Thing, Rick’s weekly email newsletter.
I anticipate using Rick’s writing with coaching clients so I am also including a link to his archived articles:
- See Your Part
- Drop the Case
- Make Good Bargains
- Receive Faces
- Hold Wants Lightly
- Embrace Fragility
- Lighten Up
- Protect Yourself
- Don’t Be Alarmed
- See progress
- Trust in love
- Don’t rain on the parade
- Receive generosity
- Speak wisely
- Minimize painful experiences
- Don’t be intimidated
- Don’t quarrel
- Forgive Yourself
- Forgive
- Say thanks
- Speak truly
- Keep your eyes on the prize
- Give no one cause to fear you
- Put no one out of your heart
- Try a softer tone
- See the good in others
- Ask questions
- Stay right when you’re wronged
- Feel cared about
- Speak from the heart
- Tune into others
- Be friendly
- Have compassion
- Recognize suffering in others
- See the person behind the eyes
Posted in Coaching, Meditation, Neuroscience
Tagged meditation, Neuroscience, Rick Hanson
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